Pot-shots and punchlines

Rappers gone wild as Rick Ross, Chris Brown and even R&B hipster-bait Frank Ocean come to blows, PLUS the deets you need for the essential parties, DJ nights and other hip hop happenings in the city this week.

Violence in hip hop achieved Tom and Jerry levels of cartoon-status this week with a couple of incidents worth review before we get to the week in parties.

First of all, you know you’re a fucking loser when a has-been like 50 Cent owns you on Twitter after you get shot at. If you hadn’t heard about Rick Ross’s run-in with as yet unidentified street-certification officers Monday morning in Miami, well, you’re probably now wondering what half the Internet pondered aloud in the wake of the incident: how do you miss Rick Ross?

And, once again, things over at Team Breezy aren’t going so hot, either. Most folks with a standard IQ already hate He-Whose-Name-I-Shall-Not-Type for beating up someone as objectionable as Rihanna — she’s still a woman, even if she don’t know how to act it.

He certainly won’t be winning any brownie points (zing!) for his scuffle the other day with ever-rising pop culture darling Frank Ocean. It’s unclear who said what first, or who threw the first blow (double-zing!), but all Ocean had to do to find himself the reigning champ here was be Frank Ocean, with no disrespect to his right hook.

Imagine Rick James had stepped to MJ in the Off the Wall era, fists up with a coke-booger hangin’ out his nose. See, I don’t even need a punchline for that (although it does put me on a hot, buttery zing-roll. See what I did there?)

Who’s next? Hey yo Breezy, I heard a couple of the Mini Pops talkin’ some shit about you! Seriously, though, if the Untalented One keeps going, he’ll eventually punch someone who deserves it. Hey…maybe he was the Rick Ross shooter.

Ah, hip hop. You make it too easy sometimes.

Peep this new video from Montreal beat man Chris RT. He’s been active for a minute, but this is a debut vid that plays through as a sampler of his upcoming full-length project. The music is trippy as hell, with visuals by Pacesix to match. Great work, and I can’t wait to hear the record.

CHRIS RT presents UNBALANCED // from Chris RT on Vimeo.

Here’s hoping no one gets shot at or punched at any of these good times.

ThursdayThe Hiram Key Project is back with V2.5 at Café Chaos. These jams keep it on some third-eye shit without getting preachy, and constantly invite a mix of better-known locals and upcoming talents from outside some of the city’s more recognizable rap circles. I can definitely vouch for TS (Todd Smith/True Story) who gave me his CD last year and still hasn’t heard a word back from me on it. I like it, man! Also in the house, on the “ones and pius,” are Artbeat Builders Sev Dee and Mark the Magnanimous.

Friday – I can’t really speak on the other bands on this bill, though the headliner sounds interesting, but I am pretty keen on the idea of Clarity backed by live band the Split Personalities at O Patro Vys. Peep the promo video for a taste.

When you’re done there, shimmy on down to Blizzarts and hear Simahlak with guest Nicky Raisinz Get Nice.

Saturday – Start your day with some free funk and help the BBAM! Gallery celebrate their first birthday with Thomasity! (Thomas Harris and his Funk All-Stars). Harris’s resume is pretty amazing: drum work for Max Romeo, Sugar Minott, Roy Ayers, Charlie Biddle, Pat Benetar — okay, the first four are dope, though. As always with these BBAM! Saturday afternoon jams, the hat shall be passed around, so give back the love if you can.

Nighttime brings two worthy dancehalls to full swing. Prince Club at Cabaret Underworld receives Cadence Weapon for a DJ set with the ubiquitous Kaytranada, KwikFiks, Peckenzo and Dave P.

At Inspecteur Épingle, Sev Dee, Manzo, Toast Dawg and Ephiks pay respect to the Late Great at the Montreal Loves Dilla installment of De la Rap. I’d say Montreal shows Dilla love year-round — you just have to hear what’s happening in the beat scene to know it — but like a lotta North American cities, we remember his passing with a couple of parties every year, and this is sure to be a live one. ■


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