Habs vs. leaf: Three cannabis cures for October stress

With shorts season dead and gone, these strains of cannabis from the SQDC should still provide you with plenty of comfort, warmth and giggling. With the weather getting increasingly dreary and damp, lord knows we need that warmth right now. Here’s what I thought of those pre-rolled joints.

SATIVA: 7ACRES Jack Haze

One of the more fruity-tasting strains I’ve tried for this column yet, this sativa from Kincardine, ON — Lake Huron weed, to be exact — becomes my strain of choice when I decide to go for an alleyway walk. Mind you, this was when it was still nice enough to wear shorts and a t-shirt while getting lost in the Plateau’s ruelles. As my luck, or lack thereof, would have it, it started raining the first time I did that walk while smoking this. I also burn through those joints rather quickly… which is either the sign of a good time, or a somewhat dissatisfying THC quotient (this one is usually anywhere between 17 and 23%). It’s uplifting, but also heightens your emotions, particularly when my heart jumps out of my chest after suddenly encountering a dead squirrel during my walk. So it’s a double-edged sword, albeit a very enjoyable one. 8.5/10

Whoever took it, I love this photo, as long as I can assume that squirrel is dead. pic.twitter.com/2sCqUJ6q2o

— It's Matthew (@fcakenterprises) October 28, 2021

INDICA: Tribal Gelato Mint

Packing a punch at 22.1% THC, this is a pretty relaxing indica — and a pretty strong one, at that. Or at least it’s the type of indica that’s enjoyable whilst going down YouTube rabbit holes. More specifically, it sends me to a series of Buzzfeed videos about how people accidentally became memes and saw their lives altered because of it. Remember Tay Zonday? Or Disaster Girl? Or Success Kid? Or Bad Luck Brian (someone I’ve been told I look like)? Yep, the gang’s all there to look back on their 15 minutes of cyber-infamy. Even John Cena is interviewed about the “You Can’t See John Cena” meme. It’s a trip, and I’m glad I had a relaxing indica to take along for the ride. Even if it mellows you out pretty hard, it’s a nice kind of mellow. 8/10

HYBRID: Sugar Leaf Rolled Jean Guy

Ah oui, une variété de cannabis distinctement québécoise. It’s also one that hit me deceptively hard: a couple hits and I feel pretty blazed, despite its middling THC percentage — about 13% for the prerolls I bought. Of course, that initial rush comes with a small cost, as the high tends to die out a bit quicker than the strains reviewed above. Unfortunately for me, I smoked this during the week when the entire city was on edge after Jesperi Kotkaniemi’s offer sheet by Carolina (one that was ultimately successful for the Hurricanes). Even if it didn’t take my mind off of a total lose-lose situation for the Habs, it dulled the pain and anxiety to a certain extent. I still miss KK horribly, though. Fuck you, Tom Dundon. 8.5/10

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This feature originally appeared in the October issue of Cult MTL. For more, please visit the SQDC website.

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To read previous editions of Best Buds, please click here.