We tried all the new SQDC edibles, and yes they will deter kids (and most people) from eating them

Yep, I did it: I got myself one bag each of the three types of edibles now available at the SQDC, courtesy of the Rilaxe brand. Although figs, beets and cauliflower might sound like three of the most unappetizing food choices you could use for your edible products (when they’d surely be making a killing if they sold brownies, cookies and/or gummies), I figured it was worth a shot to see if they were actually as bad and/or as bland as people on the socials have been fearing. Clearly, the government wants us to *eat* our greens while we consume that green. Worse yet, the packaging is far bigger than what’s actually inside — like opening the emptiest, saddest bag of chips you just wasted a handful of coin on at the dep.

Bizarre foods and wasteful packaging aside, my morbid curiosity still got the better of me, to see if it’s worth bearing the taste of dried veggies to get that desired effect. Let’s find out.

Beets

https://www.instagram.com/p/CjI-BxLBWz0/

Strangely enough, these don’t look much at all like beets, even if they taste like them. They’re more or less just like beet-flavoured chips that even look and feel almost like Pringles if you added blood-red food colouring into the mixture. Luckily, they don’t taste as awful as I’d thought they might (I’m not a fan of beets at the best of times) — in fact, they’re quite crunchy and salty. The high is also pretty fast-acting, and you can sort of taste the THC in there. Even if it’s not an overwhelming effect, it gets the job done. 7.5/10

Cauliflower

https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci2uvOphQzk/

Not only are cauliflower among my least favourite vegetables on a plate, there’s no surprise that it’s also the worst-tasting of the three edibles reviewed here. For one, breaking it into smaller pieces results in breaking it into actual, crystallized-looking smithereens (which I guess makes it easier?). You can tell how dried the cauliflower is when you taste it, too, and I frankly still haven’t finished the bag even as I write this. It’s still pretty crunchy, and serves its intended purpose, but not much more good can be found with this one. 5/10

Figs

https://www.instagram.com/p/CivOEbvLWPR/

These look a bit like if you took a fig newton and then decided to squish and stretch it beyond recognition. Nonetheless, this was definitely the tastiest and sweetest of the three. They also kind of taste a bit like if you made edibles out of Sun-Maid Raisins — which I’d honestly be super down for. Be careful though, this shit can get stuck in your teeth reaaalllll quick, and may not be the best for those with sensitive teeth. But it’s inarguably the best-tasting THC-infused snack in this (admittedly underwhelming) bunch. 8.5/10

This article was originally published in the October 2022 issue of Cult MTL.

For more about edibles, please visit the SQDC website.

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To read previous editions of Best Buds, please click here.