Orville Peck is here to rid the world of pop country

It’s kind of weird that I’ve been blithering on about so many cancelled shows lately, but this week’s column unfortunately doesn’t break tradition. If you were planning on going to see Broncho and Tchotchkec at le Ritz on Friday, don’t bother calling the babysitter cos this gigger is cancelled. (In fact, maybe you should consider picking up some babysitting gigs yourself, you lazy broke fuck.)

Oddly enough though, the heat is not really on this Friday or Saturday, with the big pick of the week happening on Sunday and the busiest night of the week easily being next Wednesday, which runs the gamut from tepid hardcore to sappy dream pop. Total weirdsville, Jack!!!

Friday: If you’re looking for some good ol’ fashioned post-punk just like Mama used to bake, les Gaustises will be serving it up piping hot, shaking and shimmying to the feel-bad hits while garage popsters Squarehead will try and steal the headliners’ beer tickets. This is all happening at the Turbo “don’t do the Monster Mosh” Haüs. This may not be your best entertainment option this week, but it looks like it could be the cheapest, so, uh, yeah. 2040 St-Denis, 8 p.m., $10

What is about this godforsaken province and its forever-love of all things prog? I like prog as much as the next guy, I guess (unless there is too much flustery and keyboard shenanigans — every man must have his limits), but people in la Belle Province just love too many bits in their songs. If you lament the days before Grim Skunk went “world punk,” you will want to get into the franco prog stomp of Cirrhose and Cendrier with Chou at the almighty l’Esco. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $20

Saturday: The crown king night of the weekend is literally owned by Chi Town’s Horse Girl. If you are getting down on the nu blasé scene, then the strum and hum of Horse Girl is going to grab you by the apron strings and drag your fave Pavement songs through the doom and gloom of Manchester’s early ’80s streets. It’s all post-punk goodness here. Opening at Petit Campus (!!!) is Dummy and somebody named Rufus Cesspool (kiddo, you will never make it in showbiz with such a shiddy name!). 57 Prince-Arthur E., 7 p.m., $24

Sunday: If you love experimental composition but like it even more when it blatantly flirts with pop music, you will want to tuck into the cozy confines of Casa for Matt Robidoux with Npnp and A.M. Sci-fi. Despite everything I learned in rock journo night school, nothing can prepare me for accurately stuffing Robidoux’s tunage into a genre box. Do yourself a favour and give him a visit on your fave streaming site and come down to the Casa on the Sabbath. 4873 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $10

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My easy big pick of the week will go to masked country crooner Orville Peck at Théâtre Corona, with opener le Ren. Now if you told me some ex-punker dude from (gulp) Vancouver is going to possess the power to finally rid the world of pop country, I would’ve laughed in yer face — yer stoppid, stoopid face. Fact is, though, I am not blowing smoke here and Peck’s timbre-shaking baritone drawl is as good as it gets. Guaran-fucking-teed Peck is going to take over the world by this time next year, so do not miss this chance to catch him in such an intimate setting. Don’t be a stoopid face and just fucking go. 2490 Notre-Dame W., 6 p.m., $72

Tuesday: If you didn’t think there was enough herky jerky in your good ol’ hardcore, you will want to thrash on down to the bar/clothing line hub Turbo Haüs to tap yer toes to the abacus hardcore of la Armada, with the Last Mile. Again, the management of “Da Turb” asks you to try and curb your macho moshing because, uh, the only people moshing in 2022 are total turd burglars. 2040 St-Denis, 7 p.m., $18.50

Wednesday: Buckle up, fuckos, it’s Wednesday. Starting off this treasure trove of delights on hump night is the dream pop of Meltts, Ostrich Bouquet and Frown Line at l’Esco. Keep on dreaming yer dreamy dreams, dreamers. 4461 St-Denis, 8 p.m., $22.26

On a completely different tip from “dream pop,” a blast of pure metal mightiness can be felt via Sadistic Ritual, who will pound some sense into yer noggin with Obelisk at the home of ’80s themed dance parties, le Ritz. 179 Jean-Talon W., 8 p.m., $22.26

If you think that Merge Records is a vital barometer of all that is good in music (and just really fucked up by signing Arcade Fire), you will want to check out the soft and soothing Americana indie twang of Friendship (not the Japanese power violence ensemble of the same name). Seriously, this guy can definitely cut a line, so if you value your pearls over riffs, this is your new fave band. Opening at Casa will be Tenci and Eliza Neimi. 4873 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $22.26

Current Obsession: Bauhaus, 5LP box set

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