What To Do If Your Partner Is Emotionally Unavailable

Learn how to help your partner overcome their emotional distance.

Noticing that someone is emotionally unavailable is not easy. You need to look for subtle cues in their behavior and interpret them correctly. However, after you recognize that your partner fits the description of an emotionally unavailable person, there comes a much more challenging step — you need to help them open up. Fortunately, there are many ways to do so.

Discussing the issue with your partner, sharing your sexual fantasies with them, or expressing your emotions through notes are only a few solutions you can try. Nonetheless, the option you choose must include communicating with your partner, as you cannot force them to change their behavior. If you would like to learn more about helping your significant other overcome their emotional distance, read on.

Discuss the Problem

If you want to help your partner open up, you should talk to them about it. This will not only help you discuss your concerns, but will also allow you to understand their feelings and needs better. Be prepared for a long conversation and be ready to listen to them carefully. 

However, do not get carried away with their problems. Remember that you want to help them get in touch with their emotions and develop a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and desires. Try to avoid emotional manipulations and remember about your own feelings.

Talk Openly About Your Sexual Fantasies

Even if you have discussed your sexual fantasies with your partner before, it does not hurt to have another conversation about it. Showing an interest in their sexuality will not only help them open up, but will also create a more intimate atmosphere between you. 

Moreover, talking about your sexual needs and fantasies can be very arousing and may make you feel closer to each other. It can also help you spice up your bed game by buying sex toys (for example, penis extensions, butt plugs, or perhaps a TPE sex doll) or trying something new. 

Write Each Other Notes

Sending each other notes is a great way to express your feelings and emotions when you can’t talk face-to-face. Sending a note during the day or placing one on your partner’s pillow can help your partner learn how you feel about them. Talking on the phone is another good option — it allows you to share words of love and appreciation.

Treat Them With Respect

Emotionally unavailable people tend to be sensitive, so they need to feel loved and taken care of. Treating them with respect is an important step in the process of helping them open up. If they are feeling insecure, you must reassure them that you care about them and that you value their contribution to the relationship. A simple “I love you” can go a long way towards helping them feel appreciated and cherished by you.

Find Common Interests

For an emotionally unavailable person, it is important to find a partner who will make them feel comfortable and safe. If you want to help them open up, you should find a common interest and talk about it. This will help them know that you enjoy spending time with them.

Help Them Overcome Their Fears

One of the main reasons why emotionally unavailable people are reluctant to open up is because they are afraid of rejection. If this describes your partner, you can help them overcome their fear by showing that you care about them and love them. Be patient with your partner and show your support in the process. Remind them that they are not alone.

Listen to Their Deepest Secrets

Emotionally unavailable people usually have many secrets and fears they don’t want to share with anyone. If they decide to open up, you should listen to what they have to say without judgment. Be attentive and try to understand their fears and concerns. Reassure them that it is okay to be afraid and that you want to support them when they need it the most.

Accept Your Partner as They Are

One of the main reasons why people get emotionally unavailable is because they have very low self-esteem, which translates into their fear of rejection. To help them overcome this issue, show your support. Remind them that you love them for who they are and that you don’t need them to change in order to be together. However, remember to stay honest – avoid saying things that are not true.


Breaking through the emotional wall that surrounds an emotionally unavailable person can be difficult. They might seem to be uninterested in you and your feelings, but it is important to remember that they are not doing this on purpose. In fact, most of them don’t even realize that they are emotionally distant.

With proper communication, you may help them overcome their fears and open up. However, remember to take care of yourself, too, and seek help if you need it. Don’t stay in a relationship that you don’t like.