Montreal app LoveInSync does dating differently

Based right here in Montreal, the new dating app LoveInSync is designed for people suffering from dating fatigue — tired of swiping, tired of catfishing and ghosting, tired of the Groundhog Day repetition of a seemingly endless series of first dates. And while the COVID-19 pandemic put a major damper on dating, online dating — the only/safest way to meet people — has never been so popular.

LoveInSync bills itself as “the first online dating community designed to connect like-minded conscious singles who are passionate about personal development.” I spoke to founders Tina Jesso and Susan Hum, longtime friends with backgrounds in financial services, about what makes LoveInSync different from the other apps.

Lorraine Carpenter: Where did this idea emerge from?

Tina Jesso: Susan and I are longtime friends, we’ve been friends for 14 years, and in 2017 we were looking into the possibility of starting some kind of business together. Susan had become a very successful life and love coach and I was looking at leaving my RESP company.

On Susan’s birthday, we were having dinner and I was going on about my latest misadventure in online dating. I said, “Oh my God, if I was in charge of a dating website, all the stuff with ghosting and catfishing and all that, that wouldn’t be acceptable. I would want to build a better platform.” And she said, “That’s the idea! That’s the business that we have to get started in.”

LC: How is this app different?

Susan Hum: One of the things with the love-mindset work that I do is the notion that if you failed in the last 11 apps and you’re going to come to this one, what’s going to change when you’re carrying the common denominator? We’re bringing in the awareness that you might have to switch something up in what you’re doing.

LoveinSync also focuses on authenticity by making video a requirement. That’s one of the big problems with online dating, when the picture doesn’t match reality. Getting the picture, the video and the audio at the same time provides a sense of how the person communicates in real terms rather than just a picture that you can be crafted.

We’re also bringing in a lot of honest talk with the profile writing. We want more original content when you write about yourself rather than just what you do for a living and what you want. How you enjoy life and how you live your life is what we want people to write about.

LC: Tina, you mentioned your misadventures in online dating. How and how much did you apply your personal experiences to the app?

TJ: I did meet a lot of really great people on the different dating websites, that’s for sure, but finding a good person and taking it to a second or third date or maybe more, it’s kind of like looking for a needle in a haystack. There are so many profiles out there and the only thing you can go by is a photo. It just never felt right somehow to constantly be swiping and making a split-second decision based on someone’s appearance. I knew that there had to be a better way.

Secondly this bad behaviour in online dating would never be acceptable in everyday dealings with people. Ghosting — when people start conversations and disappear with no explanation, or you have a great date and they say, “I can’t wait to speak to you again,” and then nothing — if you were with a friend or colleague at work or someone that you were making a business connection with, you would never do something like that, so why is it acceptable in online dating? It’s all of those types of behaviours that we really want to change.

Online dating is hugely popular. Most people are meeting their significant other these days through online dating. Especially during COVID, how else do you meet someone or start an initial contact? We’re not trying to take on the whole online dating world, we’ve decided to focus on and target people who are in the space of personal development and personal growth. Susan has been involved in that arena for quite some time as a coach, and one of the reasons I was successful in my financial services business before I switched out to do this is because of personal development. When people are trying to elevate themselves, learn about themselves, working on self-worth and self-love, that’s a really good place to start with the programs that we’re offering.

LC: So is the idea that people who are working on themselves are less likely to engage in deceptive or disrespectful online behaviour?

TJ: Nobody is perfect. We are all a work in progress but people on the path, from what we’ve seen, are trying to be as authentic as possible and question their place in the world and how they want to interact with people around them. At least there’s that level playing field. I can tell you from personal experience that if you’re trying to improve yourself and live your best life, you probably want to be with someone who is like-minded so at least there’s that common value.

SH: The baseline for personal development that makes it easier to understand each other is accountability for your own actions. That’s why we’re able to get into their mindset. If you’re just blaming the world and want to be a victim, it’s not going to work. That’s why personal development is an area that we want to focus on.

Another pitfall of online dating is that it encourages swiping, and we’re trying to implement something that’s a little bit more real and stop the bleeding of that type of superficial mindset that’s been created by online dating and social media.

LC: It’s an interesting time to launch a dating app. Has the pandemic changed anything about the app and its rollout?

TJ: COVID actually brought out some qualities in LoveinSync that we already had in place. We did a series of online conversations on love hacks during the time of COVID, and one thing that we were already strongly suggesting in our coaching is that people have a teleconferencing chat, a Zoom call or FaceTime or something, to make sure the pictures match who they are, get a sense of voice and body language before jumping into a date.

It’s fun to do online dating and to meet different people but after a while you develop dating fatigue and you think, “Oh my God, if I have to tell my story one more time, I’m going to shoot myself.” A quick FaceTime or Zoom call to find out if this is a person that you have potential with or not can save you a bunch of time.

SH: We did make one change: We have a Love Academy to educate our community about what it might take to find love in a much easier way, and because of COVID we implemented an online dating game show called Real Raw Role Play of Love & Dating. People come on and role-play and I critique and we have judges. We have fun. ■

For more details and to acquire the app, visit the LoveInSync website.

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