11 Montreal shows to scream along and spin-kick to this week

We have about a month and some change before the leaves are going to be torn asunder so while we still have some heat in the streets there is a bunch of great gigs happening this week. Everything from a middle of the road band that is actually really good despite their lame fanbase (which includes me, natch) and a band that their most ardent fan will have to admit is musically mediocre at best, but holly fuckity fuck can they ever blow up some shit good, really good like!

Friday: This opening night of the weekend is owned by locals only in the clubs. Starting at the always killer Barfly is one of the best one-man-band sensations in the city, Danforth Kane, who will launch his new electro garage rocker EP Expansion Pack. Opening will be ZFC. I’ll be there with bells on, so buy me some beers and I will curl yer wig with tales about Lollapalooza and Big Shiny Tunes. But seriously though, buy me a fukkin’ beer. 4062A St-Laurent, 9:30 p.m., $Absolutely free

Mr. Kane is not the only one birthing records on Friday night as the lovely lass’ from Death Proof will launch their new jammer Parallel World with their pals Occult Witches at the absolutely delightful l’Esco. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $10

If you’re digging all of that shoegazey stuff that’s going around like a bad case of the hives, but wish there was a bit more of Big Muff pumpin’ Pumpkins in your mix, you’ll want to make it down to “Da Turb” to catch Pnoom with the Hammer’s Bad Crush and Whoredrobe. 2040 St-Denis, 7:30 p.m., $10

Saturday: Now there is no denying that Wilco fans are the worst, but I guess I can count myself as a card carrying dweeb as I don’t think ex Uncle Tupelo duder Jeff Tweedy has put out a crap record yet. Even at his worst, he has one of the greatest guitar foils ever to pluck on a Jazzmaster, Nels Cline, to his stage right, and he’ll give extra heft to any song that comes his way. If you still aren’t sold, local great dudes Plants and Animals will be warming up the MTelus. 59 Ste-Catherine E., 7:30pm, $71.50

If Cline’s ripping solos and Tweedy’s cool strum isn’t your bag (or paying $71.50 isn’t you bag), you can dip yer whiskers into a cool pint at Barfly while the majestic metal of Unholy Divers let the riffs fly free as they pay tribute to the greatest metal riffs the ’80s ever stole from the devil. 4062A St-Laurent, 9 p.m., PWYC

Some of you out there may remember when Montreal bands were truly kings of the garage stomp on a global level, and in case there was any doubt, locals les Envahisseurs most certainly fit the bill. Helping to put the sweat on the walls at l’Esco with these troglodytes will be the twin punk power of Polonium 309 and Electric Freaks. 4461 St-Denis, 8:30 p.m., $10

A neat little discovery I made this week would be the garagey sludge blues of duo Prieur & Landry. If you dig your early Queens of the Stone Age and Danzig with a heaping helping of swamp blues trio GA20, these two will be your new fave band. Opening at Da Turb is Fullum and Bachelords. Seriously, these guys deliver the goods. 2040 St-Denis, 8 p.m., $15

Sunday: Rammstein are utter marketing geniuses and have managed to swing the biggest venues with the entire audience completely unaware of their music. Absolutely nobody on the face of God’s green acre can hum a single bar of these guys yet due to a spectacle that makes Kiss’s current End of the Road tour look like an open mic night at Brasserie Beaubien, they are packing them in everywhere. Do you love the battle of the Monster Trucks and just blowing shit up in general? Do you think that this whole music thing is slightly overrated? Well step right up and get your fun loving hairy ass down to Parc Jean-Drapeau because you just found yer favourite band. Just as the sun sets, these Berzerkers will blow up a ton of shit while thousands of people struggle to make out a single chorus. I suppose there is an opening band I should be telling you about here but really, does that even matter? 1 Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve, 5 p.m., $120.75

The term “screamo” is probably the most irksome genre name ever (“shitgaze” is the best one, in case you were wondering). It kind of hints at “have you ever been so emotional you just want to scream into a pillow?” Somebody shoot me in the face, puh-leeze. I suppose I can be a bit jaded though and think Steely Dan aren’t nearly as bad as others will have you believe, so maybe you would like to get emotional and scream along with Extinction A.D. with Deathnap at Foufs. Spin-kicks in the pit by angst- and acne-ridden teens? Oh joy!!! 87 Ste-Catherine E., 6 p.m., $15/$20.

Monday: The fine furry folks at Celluloid Records have cooked up a night to brighten up your Monday mood with Chronophage, those pesky young upstarts the American Devices (who just got a nod in the greatest zine currently going, Ugly Things) and Jane Harms Love Triangle. 4871 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $14.73

Tuesday: If you dig animé to the point that you have loaded up your phone with anime theme songs then — you are a virgin and will marry your first girl/boyfriend. Also, you will want to make it down to “Da Turb” to catch a live band that will masterfully play those theme songs as you do awkward spin kicks before Sergio turfs you out on your cosplay-lovin’ ass. 2040 St-Denis, 7:30pm, $It’s freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Current Obsession: Charlie Feathers, Uh Huh Honey

For more Montreal music coverage, please visit the Music section.