No calm before the festival storm

Just before the Suoni per il Popolo fest gets underway next week, the concert scene is definitely heating up. Suoni is easily one of the best fests for truly experimental free improv and punk in Montreal, but to get us there we still have some great gigs coming our way – including one featuring one of my favorite bands of all time, which I will not be attending (because I’m a grumpy fug).

Thursday: The fine furry folks at Turbo Haus are working on their new digs and are keeping hush hush about their opening date but have organized a show at Katacombes to help them get the scratch to finish some construction. If you would like to help these ugly, ugly promoters out and get their new gig haus up and running, come to da li’l house dat punk built and catch Blessed, Tunic and Horse Doctor. 1635 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $10

Those who enjoy a solid breakdown and a good ol’ floor-punch, bring your testosterone angst to le Ritz for Backtrack, Mizery, Hangman, Regulate and North Walk. 179 Jean-Talon W., 7:30p.m., $18/20

Although the big metal gig in town (or, rather, Laval) is on Wednesday, my big pick for the gig of the week would be Satyricon with Goatwhore and Panzerfaust at Corona. This should be devastatingly heavy. 2490 Notre-Dame W., 7 p.m., $30/$35

Friday: Woah, this Friday is wide open, so the mandatory gig you should make, especially those who dig their reverb drenched surf music and greasy rockabilly, would be the first edition of the Aloha From Hell night at Katacombes, featuring Toronto’s the Surfrajettes and the Reverb Syndicate as they do battle with homies the Men in Gray Suits and the superpowers and sweatabilly of Bloodshot Bill. It will be virtually impossible to be a sour puss at this one. 1635 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $10

Saturday: If you’re into donning your secret decoder ring and cracking the code to find out the coordinates of BLD, Goth Girl, Grandvent, 09091 and Clc, you will be rewarded with noise, noise, noise. This has a wonderful early aughts throwback vibe already. Secret location, 8 p.m., $10 PWYC

For those who like their stoner, doom and rawk oozing, you will want to get to Katacombes for the Eargasm fest with Black Sheep, Raven Black, Lake Saint John Power and Paper Cie, Destruction Derby, Pink Cocoon, Buffalo Theory and Dirt Cake. 4:20 heads are definitely gonna want to light up before this one. 1635 St-Laurent,  8 p.m., $20

Admittedly I usually don’t spill too much bandwidth on sweater rock bands but I have to cut Parquet Courts a pair of slacks as their six string workouts do recall a bit of Tom Verlaine and Johnny Mars to these tired ol’ ears so I’ll give ’em the Hammer bump. These fine upstanding gents will be playing at Fairmount with Goat Girl and Pottery. 5240 Parc, 7:30 p.m., $22.25/$26.25

Sunday: If you were at the Backtrack show at le Ritz on Thursday but still feel your adrenaline is pumped and didn’t get enough bro time in, you can keep seething at Foufs for Integrity, Bloodlet, Eternal Sleep and Sect…or just take up meditation, yer choice, bro. 87 Ste-Catherine E., 6 p.m., $25/$30

Monday: Everybody’s favourite drug creeps, Uubbuurruu, are back and more stoned than ever — they’ll be getting their electric jams in at l’Esco with Population II. Will Joey Napoleon remember he has a gig and make it to the show? Show up and find out! 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $7

Tuesday: Speaking of not making it to the shows…. if you were grippin’ tix for the black metal supergroup Bloodbath, bettah hold on to those things and don’t call the babysitter because the gig is cancelled due to Bloodbath being left twisting in the wind for a visa. A make-up date should be announced soon.

Wednesday: I have never carved the word Slayer into my own arm but I have loved them ever since both Kerry King and I had hair and Tom Araya wore some sort of weird goth eye make-up. So I must be going to see them on this farewell tour, right?

Wrongemboyo! Without Hanneman (RIP) ripping it up and the greatest metal drummer of all time Dave Lombardo behind the tubs, we are just left with a Slayer tribute band, albeit a great tribute band. Still, I just can’t do it as the band hasn’t released a listenable record for almost two decades (2001’s God Hates Us All) and I will be too heartbroken to see anybody but Hanneman up there. My brand loyalty ceased long before they started playing The Jimmy Kimmel Show.

But if you aren’t nearly as crusty as me and you do decide to make the trek to Laval’s Place Bell, the support acts definitely make it worthwhile to get there early. Check it: Testament, Behemoth, Anthrax (!!!) and Lamb of God. I’m sad to see them go but they seriously should have put the spiked armband up on the nail long before Hanneman passed. 1950 Claude-Gagné, 4 p.m., $61.25-$92.50

Current Obsession: Slayer, Reign in Blood

Jonathan.cummins@gmail.com