The only good 21st century rock band is coming to town

Woah, there tons of great shows this week including one of my big picks of the month, and it ain’t the headliner brutha. If you like to do your head-banging with arms crossed, there is also some hotsy totsy post-metal happening this week as well as some classic goth for those of you who just started digging out the black garments for spring.

Thursday: Fans of alt-country gods Uncle Tupelo and Jeff Tweedy’s subsequent band Wilco will be soaking up the Americana as Tweedy performs el solo lobo on an acoustic with Ohmme at Théâtre Corona. Expect some great between-song banter for this one. 2490 Notre-Dame W., 7:30 p.m., $50

All you guitar-pedal nerds will want to be strapping on your goggles for the kings of instru-metal looping, Russian Circles, with King Woman at the swell confines of Sala. 4848 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., SOLD OUT

Oddly enough, just down the street at la Vitrola, is the return of post-metal soundscape genius Wreckmeister Harmonies with Lungbutter and Eliza Kavtion. This duo has the ability to reduce even the most callous to a shimmering puddle, so bring a hanky. 4602 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $15

Friday: If you just want to drink some cold ones while humping a pinball machine, you could do a lot worse than heading down to North Star to catch the dynamic duo of the Punk Police as they spin the best of punk, garage, new wave and all of that other good shit. 3908 St-Laurent, 10 p.m., free

One of the big gigs this week for the doom and gloom set would be U.K. legends Skeletal Family with Dame and Odd at Katacombes. Wearing yellow jumpsuits is the mandatory dress code for this gig. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $20

Fans of the Russian Circles show will want to keep their post-metal banging at l’Esco with Appalaches, Feroces and the Cleophuzz. For those about to post-rock, we salute you. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $13

Saturday: If you want to do the monkey to the best of punk, post-punk, Italo disco, minimal synth, cold wave etc, you will want to sashay down to Katacombes to catch sets by DJ Tabarnaki and a DJ who refuses to change his name for show biz, Boris Leonard. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., price unlisted

A perfect night for those of you who scream “Oi Oi, that’s yer lot” is happening at the Barfly, which hosts Out of Order, the Follow Ups, C.I.D.B. and Hotel Murder. Dollars to donuts that somebody misses the shitter when they puke on this night. 4062 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., price unlisted

Sunday: The best place to celebrate the Sabbath day would be at M Telus when Ministry will hopefully prove they are still scary, even as septuagenarians. The real reason you’ll want to be at this though is that the person going on after the God Bombs is none other than Chelsea Wolfe. Although Wolfe’s entire discography is devastating, her last jammer Hiss Spun is otherworldly. Pyrotechnics aside, Wolfe should really be headlining this one. 59 Ste-Catherine E., 7:30 p.m., $57

The frail flowers at Analogue Addiction host Toronto’s reverb-soaked psych garage of Hot Garbage with Chacal and Lightbulb Alley. l’Escogriffe Bar Spectacle (4461 St-Denis), 8 p.m., $8

Tuesday: The Darkness and Diarrhea Planet are playing the Corona. “What’s this? The Darkness? Surely you’re off your ol’ bean Johnson. This is not the trusted cold wave info I have come to expect from your expertly written column.” Well fuck you Poindexter, the Darkness are the only good dyed in the wool rock band to come out in past two decades. Point to one band in 20 years that can write unabashed rock songs as good as any Darkness number….and fuck you. 2490 Notre-Dame W., 8 p.m., $38/$35 in advance

Wednesday: Damn, I wish the Darkness gig was the last one of the column as that undeserved fuck you statement above was a great closer. Good closers aside, there is indeedy another swell gig that deserves your attention when the weird noise punk of Deaf inflicts damage at l’Esco with Crazy Bones and Repulsives. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $8

Current Obsession: Kiss, Dressed to Kill
jonathan.cummins@gmail.com