Have a douche-free NYE

Coming up Sunday is New Year’s Eve, or for those of us who work in bars, rookie night. I can’t even remember a NYE I haven’t DJed for, and you can take it from me and the rest of the bar staff I have ever had the privilege of working with, it is indeed a true hell on Earth. People who aren’t “partiers” try to recreate their teen years by drinking to the point of vomiting while just generally acting like spoiled children. Bar staff are not the only ones who are left with a bitter taste of NYE, as most promoters and local clubs with a clue and a dedicated clientele tend to shy away from this annual disaster — the competition is stiff, after all, and Xmas credit card bills are just about to start rolling in.

Thankfully, if you want to avoid the vomit and idiotic conversation that comes with your average NYE party, there are some great gigs for live music fans who are looking for a moron-free space, as well as a couple to get us to Sunday.

Friday: A gig that is sure to put the grease in your pompadour would be The Nightmare After Christmas Show at la Vitrola with the psychobilly of the Lab Ratz with the punk fuggin’ rawk of Screaming Demons and Guttrot. 4602 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $10

Saturday: To get you into the mood for New Year’s, you can make it to the pre-NYE metal night at Katacombes with Montreal metal stalwarts Homicide, Painbow, Hidden Pride and DJ Countess Bathory holding everything down. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $10

If you’re looking for a bit more twang than bludgeoning metal, you can head to l’Esco for the Johnny Cash Machine, the Eddy Blake Trio and Emma William and the Rambling. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $15

Sunday: NYE is here! These gigs are definitely moron-free, so feel free to be free:

First off is my big pick for NYE, which will be chock full of people who aren’t completely clueless. Sala is the destination for Schwefelgelb with the return of Essaie Pas, Boy Harsher, Lowebrau, Jaclyn Kendall with DJ’s Tyg and Clem Nosc keeping all things in check. 4848 St-Laurent, 10 p.m., $20

If you’re feeling a little antsy and want to change your atmosphere, just cross the street to Casa for a night of post punk. 4873 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., PWYC

Another douche-free zone would be Analogue Addiction’s night at l’Esco with Anatole and DJ JP Tremblay keeping you dancing all night. 4461 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $10

If you’re a little more in the mood for some good ol’ d beat, you should make it down to Katacombes to catch Toronto’s Decade with Ultrarat, the dark psychotic punk of Odd and Cell. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $8 before 1 a.m.

Current Obsession: Baroness, First and Second

jonathan.cummins@gmail.com