Sick shows off the festival circuit

Alrighty, listen up you pudz. Festival season keeps on swinging with the long-running cousin to Coachella — Osheaga — making a splash over the weekend ahead. I will once again take a pass on this, as I have long been festival-phobic and being surrounded by passive music fans while tepid tunes bleat out of massive P.A. stacks gives me the hives.

Having said that though, there are at least two performers I would like to see, and hell, don’t give this curmudgeon even the time of day as I have probably turned into a wet blanket so if you want to wear flowers in your hair and shimmy to Tegan and Sara, knock yourself out. If you would like to see who is playing at Osheaga, please consult their official schedule.

Not surprisingly, things in the local haunts are a little quiet and quaking in their Keds over the weekend, but fear not as there are some gigs that can still put the sizzle in your summer (stole that last little sizzle bit from a travel mag).

Thursday: You can get your Osheaga jams started early at Turbo Haüs, where one of the official pre-parties is happening with Lakes of Canada, Bad Uncle and LPGingras. Sergio will be overjoyed by your presence. 5011 Notre-Dame W., 9 p.m., $15

Friday: L’Escogriffe is the place to be for the Osheaga afterparties starting with Mundy’s Bar and Silver Dapple. This is an Analogue Addiction gig, so you know it’s gonna be the tits. 4461 St-Denis, 11 p.m., $10/free with “industry wristband”

For fans of the minimal synth sound that’s sweeping the local dives, you will want to dig back to local legends Rational Youth, who were some of the first post-punks out of the gate playing the one-finger keys. The no longer youthful or rational band are doing a rare appearance at Katacombes, and to help trumpet their return are Automelodi, Low Factor and Besatzung. Geritol will be served on tap and audience members are asked to wear something pastel and have at least one geometric pattern on display. 1635 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $10

Saturday: L’Esco has the official Osheaga afterparty locked down and will host the wacky foodie duo Co/ntry and Slight. 4461 St-Denis, 10:30 p.m., $12

Perhaps the complete flipity-flop of the huge behemoth that is Osheaga would be the comfy DIY confines of Drones, who will open up their tiny stage to Karneef, Richard Album, Solodeur and Katy Albert. This is all happening down Mile Ex way. Secret location, secret time, secret price

Tuesday: Finally, if you dig the Nashville twang and dirt of the original outlaw country crooners like Willie, Waylon etc. you will want to make tracks to le Ritz to catch the Firemen. I have been lucky enough to see them and if you dig your ’70s Nashville country you are going to be reduced to a puddle when you see these expert pickers. 179 Jean-Talon W., 9 p.m., price unlisted

Current Obsession: Wolves in the Throne Room, Two Hunters

jonathan.cummins@gmail.com