Real punk rock, zero dog shit

With the springtime harvest of melted dog shit in the air, there may be no better week to do away with introductory niceties and get straight to the shows, fuckos.

Friday: Those loveable stoner rock humps Mountain Dust are launching their new jammer on wax at Turbo Haüs, with their “budz” Highlife from Toronto (Canada!) and Mooch. 5011 Notre-Dame W., 8 p.m., $9

A good bet for those who like politics-free, no-frills rock (with riffs that’ll bore through yer skull) is to make it down to Foufs for L.A. legends the Bronx, with openers Dave Hause and the Mermaid. 87 Ste-Catherine E., 9 p.m., $25

The wonderful folks at Analogue Addiction have two gigs this weekend, starting with Silver Dapple, Ghost Vines and the ex-Maica Mia frontwoman’s new jammer Carodiaro at Bistro de Paris. If you haven’t been to gay ol’ Paris, this is a no-brainer as the venue is eggzackly like Paris except with more conveniently located VLT machines (and without that hint of indoor dog shit). Think about how continental you’ll be, just by taking the metro. 4536 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $8

If you’re feeling funky, fly and fresh but, uh, more punky, head down to Casa to catch Omerta, Ultrarat, Terse, Sek and Brett le Batteur. 4873 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $5

The big gig of the week is the two-nighter by (personal friend of Nick Cave) Polly Jean Harvey, who’ll pack ’em in Friday and Saturday at Metropolis. 59 Ste-Catherine E., 7 p.m., $72.50-80.75

Saturday: If you plan on flying yer spring dudz in a punky manner, you’ll want to bask in the glow of others giving you the style nod at fashion hotspot Turbo Haüs, where Wyldlife, the Sangomas and Black Bambi will be playing real live “underground” music. 5011 Notre-Dame W., 9 p.m., $10

If you’re sick of original live music as I am, just plunk down your donuts on something you already know you like (as performed by people who aren’t quite as good as the original musicians), but play in venues with far cheaper beer prices. At Katacombes, you can catch Holy Sabbath and Iron Fist, and if you can’t tell who they’re paying tribute to, may Ozzy have mercy on your soul. 1635 St-Laurent,9 p.m., price unlisted

There are loads of punk rock gigs to choose from this weekend but a solid bet would be Remwar, Radiation Black Body, N.Y.’s Skullshitter (amazing name there) and Profane Order at Casa. 4873 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $5-10/PWYC

If you’re looking for a night of greasy rock ‘n’ roll that’ll leave marks, you can make it back down to Bistro de Paris to catch Ashtray Heart and Mikrob. 4536 St-Denis, 10 p.m., price unlisted

Sunday: Wake Island get down on the Sabbath for an EP launch with Best Fern and Muffin Daydream. 185 Van Horne, 8 p.m., PWYC

Analogue Addiction clean up the weekend with a huge one at — you guessed it — Bistro de Paris: catch Teen Seizure, the always amazing and high-flying Japanese warlords Zoobombs, Jerkagram and Talleen. 4536 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $10

For a night of fart jokes put to music, head to Club Soda to catch mall punk supergroup Me First and the Gimme Gimmes with the Creepshow and the Pears. 1225 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $37.25

Monday: Remember when you used to cry into your black turtleneck sweater because your parents hated you and you were forced to take your cousin to the prom as your date? Well now you can relive those glory days when the melancholic sounds of the Wedding Present will resound at le Ritz, with openers the Colleen Green Band. 179 Jean-Talon W., 9 p.m., $25

Tuesday: The Deadly Mardi DIY series at Rockette provides your (almost) mid-week rock ‘n’ roll needs with Incredible Woman and Old Ghost. 4479 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $5/PWYC

Remember when everybody in this town who had a Fischer Price microphone and a Boss Heavy Metal distortion pedal thought they were a “noise artist”? Well noise legends Wolf Eyes are banking on your memory of those carefree days when they play a short-wave radio and a broken air conditioner at la Vitrola, with Drainolith, Gashrat and Nyon. 4602 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $13 advance/$15 door

Wednesday: Turbo Haüs keep things cranked for hump night with Oakland’s Dealer, Faze, Hopeless Youth and a rare appearance from locals Venomenon. 5011 Notre-Dame W., 9 p.m., $10

Current Obsession: Various Artists, Listen Whitey

jonathan.cummins@gmail.com