15 shows that’ll blow your puny mind

This Saturday I will once again sit on the couch with a tub of ice cream, which I will eventually fill up with salty tears. For the lovers out there, Saturday will be Valentine’s Day. If you aren’t planning a pity party, there are plenty of romantic things happening around town to make this Feb. 14 extra special.

Thursday: Shaking off the mothballs, Ultrathin will make an ultra rare appearance when their self-titled psych-punk record hits the shelves. Helping them launch their jammer at l’Esco will be local punk super group Birds of Paradise and Perverted Justice. 4467 St-Denis, 9 p.m., $5

Also happening tonight is the launch of new monthly DJ/gig night Yes All Girls! at le Ritz, celebrating women in music, hosted by the always kick-ass Annie Q. Making this launch extra special is a live performance from electronic duo Pelada. Best of all, it’s free! 179 Jean-Talon W., 10 p.m., free

Once again we hit the calendar day when Passovah mark another birthday. The local show production company turns seven but significantly reduces the size of bills compared with previous epic birthday blowouts. You can help blow out Passovah’s candles with Sea Oleena, who launches her Shallow record, and Seoul. 185 Van Horne, 9 p.m., $10

Friday: Things have been a bit quiet over at the Turbo Haus with the construction of their new venue well underway, but once again the shlubs at the Haus will be hosting a scorcher when teen faves Obliterations, Sick Feeling and Mental Fix pack ’em in. No loitering in the halls too, ya fux. 1180 St-Antoine W. #408, 9 p.m., $10

Passovah’s two-night celebration continues on Friday at le Ritz with Thus Owls, Last Ex and Special Noise. 179 Jean-Talon W., 8:30 p.m., $12

Total Crap may be the big whoop on Friday night but the real night of molten metal will be happening at Katacombes, site of a classic night with “the exalted” Piledriver and the thundering gallops and balls to the wall thrash of Metalian. 1635 St-Laurent, 11:30 p.m., $5 with Total Crap ticket/$10

Saturday: If you would like to treat yer sweetheart right you could do a lot worse than bringing them to a night of minimal synth and cold wave with Toronto’s Kindest Cuts, Brusque Twins, Effet Werther and Besatzung. Casa del Popolo (4873 St-Laurent), 8:30 p.m., $8

A romantic night is guaranteed at NDG’s best kept secret, the Wheel Club, where the raunchy rock ’n’ roll twang of the Eddy Blake Trio will hold court with Cold Lake Buzzards and Santosh Lalonde. The first basket of Cheezies is on me. 3373 Cavendish, 9 p.m., $10

If you made it to the Piledriver/Metalian show on Friday, you may want to treat your bangover to a little hair of the dog when Alcoholator, Saccage, Canceric and Kaotic destroy what’s left of your puny little noggin. 1635 St-Laurent, 9 p.m., $10

Although this Saturday night is packed to the tits with all the good shit, my pick of the night, and in fact the week would have to go to the completely rare appearance of third wave garage legends Lyres. While most were still thinking U2 were Earth-shattering, Mono man was shaking the fug outta his tambourine, hammering away at his farfiza and letting it all hang out like his life depended on it. If you’re a troglodyte who digs yer garage dwellings, this show is a must. Celebrating this incredible night in Montreal garage rock history is les Envahisseurs and DJ Joakim Morin plucking out only the dustiest sides of garage fervor. Don’t fug this one up. La Vitrola (4602 St-Laurent), 9 p.m., $15

Monday: Normally I would be doing cartwheels over the announcement that Father John Misty is coming back to town as his debut, Fear Fun, was one of my favourite records ofr the past 10 years. Unfortunately I witnessed him saunter and shimmy at Cabaret Mile End directly after seeing my favourite band (the Swans, natch) and was devastated with disappointment. His new jammer sounds righteous though, so maybe I just caught an off night. His show at the Corona (with bud Guy Blakeslee warming up the room) is sold out, but you can look for tickets online or take your chances at the venue. 2490 Notre-Dame W., 9 p.m., SOLD OUT (was $23/$25)

Tuesday: Having almost fully recovered from the jam space fire that ravaged their equipment and home, Bent by Elephants rise like a pissed off phoenix at Sala with the Shore. They can’t be stopped — respect! 4848 St-Laurent, 5 p.m.

For those of you who like their envelopes pushed left of centre, you can check out Friendly Rich and the Lollipop People with Lily Frost and Krista Muir at Casa. 4873 St-Laurent, 8 p.m., $8

Wednesday: For a great night of fugged up noise, you get yourself liquefied with Crabe, les Zerreurs and the rawk power of Nobros. L’Escogriffe (4467 St-Denis), 8 p.m., $5

A night of improv music can be had at Resonance Café under a night that flies under the moniker of Green. The first set will feature the trio of Sam Shalabi, Liam O’Neill and local boxer Radwan Ghazi Moumeh. The second set will feature Martin Heslop, Greg Ritchie, Simon Millerd and organizer Isis Geraldo. 5175A Parc, 8 p.m.

 

Current Obsession: Swervedriver, I Wasn’t Born to Lose You

Jonathan.cummins@gmail.com