How to make the best of a makeout party

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Frenche ou meurs danse ou crève is a makeout/dance party that used to happen semi-regularly around Montreal. It’s been two years since the last edition, but it’s making a comeback for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

How appropriate. Whether you’re single or swingin’, this is a fine away to escape from Hallmark romance and embrace a bit of nostalgia (and perhaps another human). Remember the adventure, anxiety and awkwardness of high school dances? You’ll surely fare better at Frenche ou  meurs, now that you’re a grown-ass man or woman, minus teenage acne and plus adult confidence.

This is how it works : Upon entering le Belmont, a greeting committee will make a name tag for you, to help you break the ice with anyone you want to dance and/or lock lips with. What happens over the next several hours, as the DJs play dance music and bring it down near the end of the night to maximize slow-dancing potential, is up to you.

For a little extra guidance, we asked Frenche ou meurs organizer Zélia Lefebvre to offer tips to partygoers who want to get it on — it being kissing or dancing (you can’t expert her to seal your deals, people). Here’s what she had to say:

# 1 Be yourself

Just relax, inhale, all is good. It’s just a party. Leave your false pretenses at the door and don’t try to be someone you’re not to please the boys or the ladies. Don’t try too hard, and you’ll more likely meet the right people. We like you just the way you are.

# 2 Be polite, be charming

Being a “bad boy” won’t get you anywhere at Frenche ou Meurs. You might think that we’ll fall for the tough lady in you, but we like the sensitive beautiful being you are. Be nice — if you have to turn down a friendly stranger, do it in a charming way, introduce him to your friend, maybe they will be a better fit! All we want is everybody to have a good time, dance, kiss and dare to meet new kids!

# 3 Manage your expectations

When expectations are too high, we tend to project crazy vibe. You need to just focus on the present and enjoy yourself. That way you won’t be disappointed!

# 4 Don’t get drunk

Just enough so you can dare talking to others if you need it! Try not to end the night by vomiting on your dance partner’s feet in the middle of the slow song. And, you, know, you wanna remember the night, so drink moderately!

#5 Kiss gentle

We like soft, gentle, movement in the mouth, so don’t push your tongue in too strong. Don’t force it — be soft, be gentle, follow the rhythm, adapt yourself to your partner. I would also say that these tips apply to slow-dancing!

And if you don’t end up kissing anyone, at least you had a good time, you met all sorts of like-minded people, perhaps you’ve exchanged phone numbers, and for a few hours you forgot about your ex and went wild on the dancefloor.

And, one last recommandation about kissing: Apply some lip balm to make your lips shiny and smooochable. Bring mints or gum and DON’T eat any garlic or blue cheese beforehand. ■

Frenche ou meurs danse ou crève, with DJs Grandom, Janek Bishop & Alix, Cherry Cola and Matteo Grondini plus VJ Eeelllppp, happens at le Belmont (4483 St-Laurent) on Friday, Feb. 14, 10 p.m., $8/$10