WTF: The rest of the week in news

Wondering WTF happened this week in Montreal? Us too. We’ve got the unfolding UPAC soap opera, a former spy/doctor with stage-four cancer and the death of a legendary sandwich. Plus: the pope’s pajamas!

The stuff this place serves is now available at your local supermarket, photo via Flickr

You know, Quebec’s anti-corruption squad, UPAC, should really consider shopping its stories to some major Hollywood studios, or at least the guy behind all the Law & Orders. You can’t make this stuff up.

This week, warrants for the arrests of five men related to the McGill University Health Centre mess were issued. Those named included two former MUHC employees (including its former CEO), two former SNC-Lavalin employees (including its former CEO) and one mystery dude.

Of them, former MUHC CEO Arthur Porter, who has been repeatedly named one of the best doctors in America, diagnosed himself with stage-four cancer lung cancer that spread to his liver and is hanging out (or is it hiding out?) in the Bahamas. (He says he’s too sick to travel back to Montreal.) And Riadh Ben Aïssa is in custody of Swiss officials on other charges related to his international SNC-Lavalin dealings — particularly those in Libya.

Have you ever found yourself asking where, exactly, Quebec’s anglos are? Well, this handy map, part of the CBC’s Living English series, has us mesmerized, kind of like the Magic Eye images we gazed at in elementary school. What does it say? We’re not really sure. But, like any map, it’s fun to stare at for extended periods.

Iconic delicatessen Schwartz’s is jumping the shark. Thanks, presumably, to Mr. Céline Dion (aka René Angélil), you’ll now be able to get their brisket in grocery stores. We’ll wait here while the meaty Main staple transforms itself into a Nickels. (Also, ever wonder what, exactly, is this couple’s fascination with smoked meat?)

And finally, the pope has left the building. Sort of. He says he’s going to spend his retirement hanging at home, watching TV. Wonder what his pope emeritus PJs look like. ■

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