Mikey B Trippin, SXSW round 4

I can’t believe I haven’t died of alcohol poisoning yet. SXSW is very unhealthy, and I haven’t seen straight for days. Mexican food is what kept me alive. I’m sorry, Montreal — the Mexican food you are eating up north is shit, inauthentic and overpriced. It’s an insult to everything Mexican. You shouldn’t be paying more than $7–$9 per plate along with all-you-can-eat chips ’n’ salsa. Every time I question a MTL Mexican restaurant about their authenticity, they either say they’re from El Salvador, Spain or Venezuela. THAT’S NOT MEXICO, LAST TIME I CHECKED THE GOOGLE, YO! No matter how many times my ass got kicked or hustled by NorCal Mexican gangsters, I still love what they put in my mouth and I’d do anything to smuggle me a Mexican granny to stuff my belly silly.

My last day at SXSW was very blurry. I hooked up with Pio and my old drummer Jerry from Stockton, now living in Austin. I always wanted an angry asshole with tattoos in my band, and Jerry filled those shoes for many years. We sorta wanted to watch that UFC shit fight “GSP vs. Diaz” simply cause Diaz was a fellow high school hood rat back home. He never graduated but kicked my ass just for being a skater. I later had to pay him off (discounts on CDs and pizza) in order to avoid getting my ass beat.

We all ended up going to shows instead. We hit up another Brooklyn Vegan party at Emo’s. I missed Austin’s Feathers, but I was lucky to have vegan breakfast with Feathers’ Courtney. She blew my mind and I told her I wanted to take her back home with me, but she kindly asked to be excused and I never saw her again.

Up next was Austra from Toronto. They’ve got this dark, glittery synth-pop thing going on with a touch of new wave. All I know is the singer’s classically trained, and that makes her cooler than others. There’s a pair of twins in this band that I’ve been obsessing over for years. I don’t know why, but every time I try to talk them, I leak a little. I spoke to them the previous night and peed my pants, as usual — that’s why I got kicked out of the club for trying to steal someone’s pants, for a replacement (more on this story in SXSW round 3).

The guys from BV pointed out that MTV’s legendary VJ/reporter John Norris was in the audience. He was my source of music before the Internets, before I hit puberty. I was quick to get on my knees to kiss his feet, and then shot the shit with him. He noticed I was with M for Montreal and was quick to say, “Dude, your show last night was all-around killer. I am such a big fan of Montreal music, especially Blue Hawaii.” That’s when I once again fell to my knees and kissed his feet once more. He started talking about Doldrums and Majical Cloudz, and I couldn’t believe the guy was talking my language. He told me he’s no longer with MTV and he’s now with a company called Noisevox. After I offered him a hot dog, he pretended he never met me. I later saw on the Google that he’s vegan. Sorry J-dog!

The last band I saw at SXSW was Death Grips, so it’s time for another edition of Mikey B Bragging: Death Grips is cooler than shit right now, and all your moms wanna hump them. Death Grips was born 25 minutes away from my hood. Their drummer and mastermind, Zach Hill, was just like every other buddy of mine in Sacramento, but that didn’t last for long. He’s now a shooting star and very well respected in the music realm. He’s a machine, a wizard, and possibly trippier than Frank Zappa. I’m one of the very few that attended his first performances behind a kit in bands like Legs on Earth, the Advantage and Crime in Choir. I was also one of 50 spectators to witness the birth of his band Hella. I don’t know who or where I’d be if it weren’t for Hill and the City of Trees.

So back to Death Grips gig. I was accompanied by Zach’s ex-girlfriend Liz Liles. She’s a model, homeowner and drummer for G. Green. She can be seen in Zach Hill’s video “Sacto Smile.”

Death Grips were positioned in the middle of a warehouse called the Boiler Room. Zach was nowhere to be seen on stage, which freaked me out, but Liz told me he was playing from backstage. I’m assuming that was ’cause there were these massive floating objects being thrown all over the place that could’ve knocked him off beat. They were wearing ski masks fitted with cameras, filming their performance. See for yourself.

I ended the festival dazed and confused on a grassy knoll with Liz, Doldrums, Majical Coudz, Blue Hawaii and G. Green — it was nice to mingle with my homies from both coasts. I left SXSW feeling ultra beat like Willie Nelson. I’m desperate for a full Asian body massage but gotta hit up Toronto for CMW (Canadian Music Week).

Till then! ■

@m4mikey

Who is M for Mikey?