One-Night Stand

A girl falls from her balcony while the guy she ran into on St-Laurent searches the web — for himself.

Photo via Flickr

One-Night Stand is a column chronicling hook-ups in Montreal. In an effort to better understand what’s really unfolding in our bars, clubs and venues, we’re asking our readers to submit stories of their most memorable sexual experiences, be they great or terrible, with the new friends they make when they’re out. What follows is a firsthand account of what happens in our city’s bedrooms on any given night.

Age: 33
Sex: Female
Orientation: Straight
Meeting place: St-Laurent

The details: One November night, after personally depleting the global supply of vodka by half, I bumped into a semi-acquaintance (probably literally). We collected some party supplies and went back to my place. When I went outside for a cigarette, leaving him in my room to non-smoke, I accidentally closed the door behind me, cleverly locking myself onto my third-floor, alley-facing balcony. I yelled for help for over 20 minutes, but nobody answered, and I began to assume I was going to die out there, cold and alone like a mewling little orphan baby lamb. I decided to climb down, mini-dress, stacked-heel boots and all. It went really well for, like, two feet. I fell the remaining two-and-three-quarter storeys, luckily crashing through my downstairs neighbours’ terrasse roof to break the fall, and my soft, doll-like drunk body probably didn’t hurt either. I rang my door like a maniac to be let back in, bumbling boozily about my HILARIOUS ADVENTURE. The next morning, mercifully, he was gone when I woke up. But the world had obviously kicked the shit out of me — one elbow was swollen to triple the size, a knee severely injured, and I was covered in cuts and bruises. And when I finally got around to starting work again, I turned on my computer, and my browser history immediately showed me that he’d been in my room Googling himself the whole time. ■

Got your own amazing account of a one-night stand? Share it with us here.


Disclaimer: This is user-generated content that doesn’t reflect the views or kinks of Cult MTL editorial.

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