Hey kids, get outta my backyard!

As the leaves start trembling and ready themselves to be torn asunder from their branches to slowdance to the ground in their demise…yeesh, did I just write that? Okay, I might’ve torn a page out of my grade school journal there so, uh, let me have another crack at an intro. When the Main once again gets carpeted in Technicolor two-dollar chow mein/PBR puke, you don’t need a calendar to know that school is dangerously close to being in session.

Not to say that I hate students, but, to completely mangle a Charles Bukowski quote to serve my own devices, I just feel a whole lot better when they’re not around.  Now, before you start banging pots in front of my apartment, let me offer this little olive branch. Sure, most eggheads are good enough (erm) eggs, but there remains a small part of the student populace that are simply little fucks (that line wasn’t taken from my grade school journal btw). Trying to watch a band, drink a pint in peace or just have a civil conversation at a local watering hole as some Roots-adorned dude is chanting the mantra for morons “drink motherfucker drink” in my ear, or asking if I can sell him some weed, gets me feeling downright “punchy” every time.

Thankfully though, we still have a little bit of time left before these fuckwad jocks descend on our favorite bars and small venues, so don’t just walk to these shows – run!

Tuesday – The big pick of the week happens tonight, when the decibel-dealing duo Jucifer lock horns with support from local psych/prog warlords les Momies de Palerme, instru-metalists Squalor and new kids on the heaviosity block Lion Farm (featuring Cult MTL’s own metal madman/Screen editor Malcolm Fraser) at off-the-beaten-path venue Piranha Bar (680 Ste-Catherine W.). Jucifer is no stranger to Montreal, and on previous visits have had 20 amps running simultaneously, so definitely pack a pair of earplugs for this.

Thursday – For those of you into art-damaged mind-fuckery, don’t miss Institutional Prostitution with Syngia, ¡Flist! and Halfdogj.r at Casa del Popolo.

Friday – Blues punks Ashtray Heart play their home away from home (Barfly) with les Castagnes. They may have swiped their moniker from Captain Beefheart song, but they don’t play it safe as milk, preferring to slug away with a fistful of nickels instead. If the Rolling Stones were on Am Rep, it might sound like this.

Also happening on Friday is the first night of the Passovah Summer Fest with Sheer Agony, Valleys, Royal Palms and more. The second night of the Summer Fest on Saturday features Parlovr, Special Noise, Cobra Vulture and much, much more. Over 20 bands putting in 15 minute sets with a pay-what-you-can door at Il Motore. Questions?

Saturday – Les Momies de Palerme prove to be busy this week, what with their Jucifer gig tonight AND a headlining gig at la Tour Prisme (550 Beaumont, #516). After witnessing this duo raise holy hell when they supported Stephen O’Malley/Tim Hecker a couple of months back, this is not to be missed. If you want to get sufficiently lubed up before this show or their opening slot for Jucifer, check out their latest mind-bender on Constellation Brulez ce Coeur. It’s a near perfect blend of psych, prog and krautrock, so if you’re wondering just how far-reaching modern psych can get, this is it. Also on the bill is Penny Rimbaud (Crass) cohorts We R Dying 2 Kill U and Dreamboy.

Sunday – Finally, San Francisco’s Rank/Xerox will lay down their self-styled art damage with the swirly noise pop of fellow Bay Area band Rat Columns, with local support from Each Other and the Ether. This will all be going down at a popular, hush-hush Mile-Ex venue. Just ask a myopic, misanthropic geek. ■

Current obsession: Phil Spector, The Very Best of 1961-1966

Jonathan.cummins@gmail.com